Scott vs The Fandoms: An EPIC Tale
by Follow Those Owls
Summary: Scott comes across fanfiction one day, and is...throughly shocked by what he finds. Humor fic!
1. Chapter 1

**Erm, Hi.**

**I'm probably just going to get a ton of flames, like OMG THIS ISN'T FUNNY YOU SUCK blah, blah, blah, but I've had this in my iPod for a really long time. And I think it's funny. So please, please don't kill me.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, and am not trying to make fun of anybody. This is mostly based on ME making fun of MYSELF.**

Scott vs The Fandom

Scott was surfing the web, on a Pear Laptop. Not an Apple Laptop, I don't wanna get sued by Apple busting up in here. So yeah, Pear Laptop.

A website caught his attention.

"Fanfiction? Sounds...stupid," he said bluntly, raising his eyebrows. He saw there was a Total Drama section, and decided to click on it for one reason or another. Mock it or some other Scott-like thing.

What he saw shocked him.

"Really? Brick and Jo? What idiot thought of that one?!"

He scrolled down.

"Courtney and Duncan...Courtney and Duncan...Courtney and Duncan...what's wrong with these people? All Courtney did was whine and Duncan's a cheating jerk."

*Scoll, scoll*

"I would NOT try to rape anyone! I ain't a saint, but SERIOUSLY?"

*They see me scrolling, they hating...*

"What's an OC and what do they have to do with Total Drama? It's like, APPS OPEN! What the hell is that all about?"

*Scolling like a BOSS.*

At the bottom of the page, there was that convenient little box where you could pick a genre or a character or whatever. Scott put in his name with no other information.

"Let's see this thing. Scott and...Dawn? WHAT THE HELL?! There's so MANY! Who started this?"

*Scoll it like it's hot.*

"Scott and BRICK?! These creeps are twisted!"

He decided to actually read one. He clicked on a generic Scott/Dawn one. The title is, like, Scott and Dawn Admit Their True Feelings or something sappy like that, here's summary:

Scott likes Dawn and voted her off to hide his feelings! But, OMG, Dawn likes him too! Playa Del Losers or whatever the hell it's called fic. R/R! I like corn! •_•

Note how the summary is really vague and has unnecessary information!

As Scott read it, his eyes widened.

"I did NOT get Dawn voted off to 'hide my feelings for her.' I voted her off because I wanted the million bucks!"

*Reading.*

"I don't recall ever calling her Moonbeam, where did that come from?"

*Reading.*

"Okay, I mentioned the kitchen rat thing once, why is it brought up in every story?!"

Disgusted, he clicked on another story.

"Yeah, I totally went to Hogwarts," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"My parents do so like me!"

"Damn, I get no street cred around here."

"Great, look, I got Dawn pregnant in this one."

*We interrupt this story so Scott can go puke, he just discovered an M rated Scott/Chris story.*

Moments later, Scott returned.

"We get it, I have freckles. Yeah, I'm a total freak of nature."

"Scott/Cameron?! BUBBLE BOY?! You people are sick!"

"I take it back! Chris/Duncan? Chef/Harold?! Owen/Noah?! I love these people!"

"I take it back again! I'm not a homeschooled freak! That's Ezekiel!"

"Scott/Anne Maria? Meh, too trashy."

*We are forced to interrupt this story again. Scott has just learned what lemons are and is currently puking up rainbows!*

Scott's mom, who is not abusive and does, in fact, love him, called him downstairs because he has to school.

*Time gap*

Nothing centering around the plot of this story happened until study hall, so I assume the readers won't mind if I skip ahead.

Scott was bored in study hall, considering he couldn't talk to anyone, since all his classmates are idiots/jerks/whatever, so he pulled out his laptop and went to read the fanfictions again.

"Scott meets One Direction? What the hell?" He thought to himself.

*Scottling, because it sort of sounds like scrolling.*

"Eeeewww, Scott and LIGHTNING?!"

*scrolling*

"Since when am I a werewolf?"

*You know what's happening.*

"What the hell? I died? Pappy murdered me? WHAT?!"

*I like to scroll it scroll it.*

"For the record, I have nothing against B. I got him voted off a game show, I don't have a thing against fat guys. And you can take THAT to the bank!"

*Insert not so clever scrolling analogy here.*

"Scott/Zoey?! And MIKE beats me up?!"

"Beth/Heather?! BWAHAHA!"

"Gross, Alejandro/Scott...you people are really sick!"

"Scott/Staci? AND Ezekiel?! That's it, that's where I draw the line," he said out loud, attracting the attention if his fellow classmates, and slamming the lap top closed, causing the screen to break.

* "I Believe I Can Fly" plays in the background.*

A random classmate asked Scott what was wrong, so Scott growled at him, something many assume Scott does. Ya know, like a bear.

Scott ran out of the classroom, laptop in hand, the screen magically fixed, and he went to his car.

Inside, he created an account, his pen name can be "RAWRikillkitchenrats78" or something along those lines.

He opened up Microsoft word, and wrote the story you are currently reading.

Now, dear reader, with this in mind, go ahead and write your Dott fanfictions, but remember: Scott is listening.

To possibly be continued.

**I might continue, meh, who knows. I'm actually a huge Dott fan. **

**This is sort of based on the first time I saw a fic with lemons, it said rated M for lemons, and I thougt they were being funny...**

**So yeah. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**You asked, and now you shall receive. I seriously was shocked you all thought the last chapter was funny, you all are so sweet! Seriously, you made my day. I hope you like this chapter as much as the last one!**

Scott vs The Fandoms - part 2

Scott, back on his pear laptop, which is now a pineapple laptop because I say so, was now trying to find one accurate fanfiction about himself.

"Hmmm...let's see...Chef/Scott?! And it begins!"

*I'm on the right track baby, I scroll this way!*

"Since when am I part of the Matrix?"

*Scrolling FOR NARNIA!*

"I don't care about Dawn's hair! She can shave her head for all I care."

*Brad Pitt loves woman who SCROLL!*

"...SOMEBODY WROTE A STORY ABOUT ME AND DAWN SHOWERING TOGETHER?! WHAT THE HELL?!"

*McDonald's: I'm scrolling it!*

"Like hell I'm shy."

*Scrollin' in the front seat, scrollin' in the backseat...dear God I hate that song...*

"I do not - I repeat, DO NOT - sing. Ever. Especially One Direction songs."

*High Scroll Musical.*

"What the hell is an OC and how do I date it?"

*Nike: Just Scroll It.*

"...Scott/COURTNEY?! These people really have nothing better to do, eh?

*DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH - DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH SCROLL MAN!*

"I do hate Valentine's Day, but no random chick from Total Drama is changing that."

*With great scrolling comes great responsibility.*

"Wait, wait, WAIT. Mike is having dreams about Scott? ...Maybe I win the million and he gets mad!"

Scott, being the somewhat ignorant deviant he is, ignored the fact that the story was rated M and clicked on it.

*Brief time gap while Scott throws up all over his carpet.*

"This fanfiction thing is ruining my rugs..."

*I BELIEVE I CAN SCROLL!*

"Why are there, like, 10 Mike/Scott stories? I FLIPPING HATE THAT GUY!"

*Spongebob Scrollpants!*

"MY VOICE IS NOT ANNOYING!"

Scott happened to notice those cute little crossing arrows in the corner of the screen. Crossovers!

"Crossovers? This should be...interesting."

"Why are there so many Pokemon and Total Drama crossovers? Which Einstein thought up that one?"

"Why the HELL would I date Edward from Twilight? WHY?"

*THE SCROLL OF LIFE.*

"No, No, No, HECK NO, I do not date my little ponies. EVER. Eeeeewwwww."

*To scroll or not to scroll - that is the question.*

"Trent is secretly part of the Addams family...seriously?"

*I'M RUNNING OUT OF SCROLLING ANALOGIES!*

"I'm NOT a delinquent! That's Duncan. If you're going to write ridiculous stories, at least get then right!"

*You live by the scroll, you DIE by the scroll.*

"SCOTT! Mow the lawn already!" Scott's Pappy yelled. Pappy also loves him, although he was annoyed that Scott had neglected to mow the lawn AGAIN. Like seriously, if he wants to get into a good college, so he can meet a good wife, and get his kids into a good preschool, he must complete this vital task.

Scott rolled his eyes in true Scott fashion, which actually does come up in fanfictions a lot.

"ALRIGHT! Just don't give that weird speech about getting my great grandkids into Yale or somethin' again!"

Scott then purposely spent most of the next 3 hours mowing the paved-over driveway, which confused most of the neighbors. I could describe every small yet comical mishap that happened during this period of time (such as Scott telling the neighborhood kids that he wasn't mowing the grass so he wouldn't kill the sleep-deprived elves who hide in it, and then watching them crawl around his yard searching for said elves) but that has nothing to do with this story.

Cue second time gap!

*EPIC TIME GAP!*

It was about midnight, and even though Scott had very important tests the following day at school, he was still searching for the accurate fanfiction.

"YES. The entire Total Drama cast from all the seasons totally goes to my high school. CORRECT."

*Will scroll for food!*

"Cody and Noah? Izzy and Noah? Zoey and Noah? Dawn and Noah? Do they just stick ANYONE with Noah?"

*Meow.*

"DID THIS STORY CALL ME WHITE TRASH?! Oh, SOMEBODY'S meetin' the baseball bat tonight! Who wrote this?!" Scott thought, outraged. He clicked on the link to the author's profile.

"What kind of name is TotalDramaFan89lolzGWUNCAN4e ver?"

He clicked on TotalDramaFan89lolzGWUNCAN4e ver's bio, and this is what he saw:

HI YALL IM TASHA BUT EVEN THOUGH IM NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL U MY REAL NAME I JUST DID LIVE WITH IT I DONT LIKE PUNCTUATION SO DONT EXPECT ANY I LIKE CAPSLOCK BLAH BLAH BLAH AND GWUNCAN 4 THE WIN BLAH BLAH BLAH IM ONLY 9 BUT DONT REPORT ME I PROBABLY SHOULDNT HAVE TOLD U THAT EITHER BLAH BLAH AND I WILL NOT UPDATE ANY OF MY STORIEZ UNLESS I GET 30 REVIEWZ ON EACH CHAPTER!11111!

"What. The. Hell?"

To possibly be continued.

**I'm not sure if I'll continue this, I mean, I want to, but this chapter actually took a lot of thought and days to complete! Silly but true!**

**Thanks so much again for the reviews!**


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